Every Body is a Beach Body: Saying Yes to Summer


So many of us have been there. It starts in school. There’s a field trip to a water park, or a pool party at Melissa’s house, or senior ditch day at the beach, and while the other girls are making plans and packing cute two-pieces, you’re scouring the racks for oversized cover-ups and an elusive pair of boardshorts, brainstorming ways to get in and out of the water without anybody seeing you. Finally, you arrive nervously, only to realize that all your plans and hopes won’t hide the fact that you look different. Maybe, you think, I just won’t swim. And so you sit, sweating in a plastic chair, smiling to reassure everyone that you’re having a good time. They invite you in, but you have a headache, or perhaps you just dyed your hair--any excuse that will keep you clothed. Well, doll, I’ve got great news for you: in 80 years, all of these people will be dead.

Whoa, hold on a minute! You think. How is that good news for me? Or anyone?? The point, my dear dolls, is that you’re missing out on cool, shimmering water; on the feel of weightlessness and of liquid fingers caressing your skin; on the fluff of sand under your feet and on LIFE ITSELF, all because people who are only here for a blip might get snide about you enjoying the exact same things they do! Are you going to get arrested and sent to beach jail for Swimming While Curvy? Nope, nope, NOPE.


Body anxiety pundits peddling clickbait panic articles may say otherwise, but summer is for getting tanned and eating fresh and staying out to enjoy the extra light and generally feeling your best. That’s when a “beach body” is supposed to happen--our circadian rhythms and the earth itself are designed that way! But now someone’s trying to tell you that you should do all those things in winter so you can . . .  keep doing them in summer and then in winter again in and endless loop, never giving your body or psyche the cozy, creamy, chill hibernation period it needs? Puh-leeze.  

Truth be told, everyone’s usually thinking too much about themselves to notice anyone else. They’re out there, splashing and flirting and having the time of their lives and couldn’t care less what you do; don’t you deserve the same? Don’t you get to feel that total abandon, to enjoy small pleasures, to have a life?? Darn straight you do, doll.


Here are some mantras to remember the next time you’re tempted to sit out the next pool party. Tattoo them on your forearms if you have to:

Are you breathing?

  1. Yes.

  2. Then you can work that bikini/tankini/one-piece/scuba suit.

How to have a beach body:

  1. Have a body

  2. Go to the beach (or the pool, or a neighbor’s sprinklers. We’re not here to judge.)

So slather on some sunscreen, slip into a swimsuit you love, and go rock that beach bod! Carpe that diem hard. And post your pics in the comments and show all our other dolls how it’s done!